Then and Now

So five years ago if you would have told me I'd be a stay-at-home mom with two toddlers, I would had said No Way! At 30 I was still dead set against having children of my own.  I swore they weren't for me.  I was sure I wasn't going to change my mind and was afraid my husband would leave me to find someone who would have his children.  He told me over and over again that wasn't true.  He was waiting for me to change my mind.  Good thing he did!

I used to joke and say my biological clock was broken because I never got the "oh I want a baby" urge.  In fact, even though I am the eldest of three sisters, and used to babysit, I was pretty uncomfortable around kids at that time.  (I think it was the overwhelming feeling that everyone was going to be pressuring me to have one next.) Anyway, I guess it was broken and then fixed itself, because late March 2007 I suddenly wanted to have a baby.

I had been having a rough time emotionally.  My one sister just had a baby boy in December and my other sister was pregnant with my soon-to-be niece.  I thought I was going to begin feeling pressure from my in-laws soon about my own family plans.  But then I realized that I was missing something.  And that something was a family of my own. 

It was an email picture that my mom sent me at work that actually triggered it. She sent a picture of a baby with a big smile and wrote something like "doesn't this look like Ben(my new nephew)"?  I wrote back thinking it was my sister but in fact it was a picture of me.  Something snapped and the gears starting rolling.  If I don't have any kids, I won't get to have that.  The cute pics, the smiles, etc.

So I went home with a full head and did the only thing I could do.  I made a pro and con list.  Then when my husband came home I told him what I wanted.  Of course he was thrilled!  Later when I worried that I was just succumbing to peer pressure, he reassured me that he could definitely see it in my eyes that it was what I truly wanted.

So I did the good pre-mother thing and went to the doctor for check-ups and then we started "trying." I figured I'd go off my pills and in three to five months we'd get pregnant.

Well, a year later and nothing.  I went back to my OB and we started some simple tests.  I stopped taking vitamin C (too acidic) and started taking Robitussin of all things.  After a few months of that and still nothing we did a low dose of Clomid for one month and then, in July 2008, it happened!

Now, all this time, we never told anyone we were trying.  I swore my husband to secrecy, although I think he broke his promise, but since it took so long, the surprise factor still worked.  And what a surprise it was!

Needless to say, everyone was thrilled.  Although it was the third grandchild on my side, it was the first biological one on my husband's.  Everyone hummed with excitement, including me!

I had a pretty easy time, to be truthful.  I was lucky and didn't get any sickness, although I lost a little weight in the beginning, but I was being very careful about what I was eating so I wouldn't get sick.  My first few appointments went well, although she said I was measuring a bit bigger, she only found one heartbeat.  So I didn't have an ultrasound until Nov 3 when I was 19 weeks along.

Several different people told me it was twins.  So I guess it wasn't as big as a surprise as it would have been when the tech told us.  Twins!  A boy and a girl!

ultrasound

Fast forward a few more months and on Tuesday, March 3, 2009, Chloe and Connor were born at 36 weeks.  A little small but no NICU time and we all went home at the end of the week. Since then it's been a fun ride.  I decided not to go back to work and recently just begun watching my newborn niece a few days a week.

                                                 First born

A few weeks ago

Not only did I change my mind to have a baby, but got lucky with two!  And recently I've been itching for another (which could possibly be twins--again!).

Now that I've got all that out, I can start writing this blog about my adventures as a stay-at-home mom of twin toddlers.  The last year and half has been very busy, and it still is busy, but I'm going to try to make time to write at least a few times a week. 

So sit back, and enjoy the ride with me!